I've noticed one key thing as I've gone through the years. It seems to me that the years go by a lot faster the older you get, and as the years go by fast, so do the holidays.
I'm just not in a mental state at this time to celebrate the Christmas season. You can call me a Scrooge, but the truth is I'm not even ready for my birthday to come around on the 17th. It may only stem from the lack of cash-flow that we are faced with, but at this point I'm still not sure if that's the case.
About a month ago we started to buy "The Bug" (Kenli) her Christmas presents. As we would shop I would find things that I really wanted. As time went on I grew more and more irritated that we didn't have enough money for me to get what I wanted for my birthday or Christmas (sense the pattern here?).
Fast-forward to last night. I don't know if it was something said during the course of the day yesterday. But, I felt like I had been the Grinch and my heart just grew last night... We went together as a family to the St. George Temple to go and see the lights. As we were there, it just hit me like a ton of coal in Santa's sack... I had been so selfish, I had started to forget the reason we even have it in the first place. Somehow, getting the newest Xbox 360 game didn't sound as important as it used to.
As a result, I've found myself wanting nothing more for Christmas than to spend good quality time with my family (because, quite honestly, thats about all I can afford to do right now). I just have to fight the urge to want things. Shani is so selfless, to the point that sometimes it drives me nuts that she can't understand me when I say I want something. But after that moment last night, I hope she doesn't have to hear me beg and plea for the things I want this year for Christmas. I've seen the bigger picture and by doing so, I have opened up my heart to "The Christmas Spirit."
As always, thanks for reading. Let me know how you are dealing with the holidays. Drop me an email at firemouth55 @ hotmail .com or leave a comment on this blog post.
-Sky
-Sky
2 comments:
I love you so much HONEY! Thanks for getting in the Christmas Spirit! :)
This is such a poignant, thoughtful and honest post. I think it is so easy to get caught up with things that don't really matter during the Christmas season (since commerciallism has all but taken over.) Sometimes it's a blessing to be forced to take a step back and realize the things that truly matter. Thanks for sharing this!
Post a Comment